“I’m not worthy.” – voice in my head

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The title of this piece likely speaks to many of you.  In my work to best build a self-confident, safe, powerful and humble fitness community for all of us, I have continued to see this internal self talk plague us.  I see it in the looks on your faces, I see it in your mannerisms and in what fires you up.  It is palpable at the box, and likely in other areas of our lives where it isn’t so plain to see.

I read a quote from Dr. Tara Brach’s book Radical Acceptance that spoke to me regarding this reality:

“Every time we hide a defeat we reinforce the fear that we are insufficient.  When we strive to impress or outdo others, we strengthen the underlying belief that we are not good enough as we are.  This doesn’t mean that we can’t compete in a healthy way, put wholehearted effort into work or acknowledge and take pleasure in our own competence.  But when our efforts are driven by the fear that we are flawed, we deepen the trance of unworthiness.” (p. 17 Radical Acceptance)\

I want to be one, of what I hope are many, voices telling you to WAKE UP from the ‘trance of unworthiness.’  I, and your coaching staff, truly SEE you.  You may not notice everyday, but we do.  You are worthy.  You are worth it and you are whole.  Right now.  Fact.

Regardless of your ambition or ‘end game’ for why you are at The Arsenal, you are right now worthy and complete.  Thinking otherwise, and marinating in self loathing and ‘when I am…’ or ‘when I can…’ thoughts is actually holding you back.  You with your clean and jerk that is sloppy, you with your lack of mobility in hips, shoulders and ankles and you that is twenty pounds over weight.  You are whole, complete and worthy.

Be assured that I am not writing this as some success story, or from some higher plane of awareness.  I personally struggle with these thoughts daily.  I work with your coaching staff every week on this type of awareness.  I do it because the voice in our head can be a real asshole.  It tells you that until you achieve some future condition, a PR, body weight, grade, job, promotion or any other change state that you remain unworthy.  It says, you cannot rest in yourself until that prescribed condition is accomplished.  This is bullshit, and you and I both know it.

If you are not worthy now, you will not be worthy then.  By your standards or anyone else whose approval you are working to earn.  I’ll close with this.  At The Arsenal, you are worth it every day, every minute, every second.  The fact that you walk in the door everyday is a massive victory of investment in self, fitness and growth.  You are worth it here.  You are worth it on your first day, and you are worth it after your second year.  You simply will not earn more worthiness from us.  You already have it all.

The challenge I pose to you today is this:  Look in the mirror and tell yourself “I’m worthy.  I’m worth it.  I’m whole.” 10 times.  Look yourself right in the eyes, and in doing so silence that voice in your head that tells you anything different.  If you struggle with this exercise, then hit me up.  I work on things like this everyday and would like to learn how I can help you on your journey.  At The Arsenal, this is what we believe.

 

  • Isabel Serrano

    Thank you for this inspiring piece! This is a daily task, just like you mention. The voices in the head can often speak louder than the ones in our heart. When they speak, we need to ask is: Is this true? My daily mantra, as soon as I wake up in the morning is: “I am enough”, and then smile 🙂 I love your mirror challenge. Mirror therapy is very powerful. Hope everyone starts to do it right now, and then every single day. I AM WORTHWHILE.