Is there a chance your goals are actually the reason you quit, fall short, and rarely meet the story you share with your Facebook buddies? Am I being too judgmental or harsh? Let’s take a quiz and find out:
- Write down your current top 3 goals. Be specific. Non-quantifiable goals are weak. (If you have less than that, just write those down.)
- Write down your behaviors on average from 6 a.m. – 10 p.m. for most days of the week. List them out in bulleted fashion like below:
- 6-7 a.m.
- 7-8 a.m.
- And so on…
Do your behaviors even closely resemble what it takes to achieve your goals?
Reaching Goals Starts With Truth
If you “passed” the quiz above, then maybe this post isn’t for you. This post is for those of you who tend to constantly re-frame your goals based on your inability to follow through day to day, consistently, in earning your goals. You constantly back it down to be more “manageable” or bring up your “crazy schedule” as the condition that prevents you from achieving something meaningful to you. As a coach at The Arsenal, I see people’s shaky commitment to goals, and I see them break when they decide (inside his or herself) that “I just can’t do this.” That lie just became truth. Magic.
There are bigger questions I would ask the person who failed the quiz above. I would ask her how she feels when she looks into the mirror, looks deep into her own eyes, and breathes in an honest appraisal of where she is at in life. I would ask if she is successful at something that actually matters. I would ask if she is consistently fulfilled, self-confident and motivated. Or, do these questions I ask make her cringe?
Your Impact On Reaching Goals
The truth I wish to deliver here is that goals worth accomplishing come with pain, sacrifice, accountability, behavior change, mental fatigue, emotional cost, time, and a litany of other factors. You are simply capable of more than you are doing right now. How do I know that? Because, I work, professionally, toward changing the behaviors and habits of fully functioning adults every day. I witness the undeniable inertia that unhealthy habits have on strong successful people. Smokers, the obese, the “mean boss”, the workaholic, the busybody, self-pity guy/girl, addicts, the selfish, “the pushover”, and the list goes on. I see how powerful the subconscious commands most of the minutes of his/her day holding them in an unhealthy patterns physically and mentally.
Facing Failure Positively
YOU can change and choose to behave differently, and more productively, toward meaningful goals. I also get to see those results every day at The Arsenal and in my management consulting. I witness the people who have “about-faced” and decided with courage, vigor and fire that they refuse to be less than they were meant to be. They scream it with every rep, every failure, every bit of pain and they keep coming back, getting up, to stay in the fight.
We are all broken. Let’s get that straight. We have no place to judge the brokenness of others. What we have today is an opportunity to set a real goal, something we are willing to suffer for, and then wrap our existence around accomplishing it.
If you have interest in a partner to help frame up your goals, please reach out to me. The Arsenal may not be the place to fulfill them, or earn them, but if we can be part of the first step of the journey it would be an honor.